Dealing with depression is not something new to me, but I beat it. Sometimes with the help of meds, sometimes not, but I always fight a good fight for myself and win.
2018 has been a particularly long lasting depression. Meds have been slow to help and I spent most of the winter not sleeping well at night and trying to catch up during the day which made for a lot of inactivity, not helping a depression and creating a vicious circle.
My depression comes from two things – seasonal changes into the fall. (Oh, joy, October is coming.) And also from extreme amounts of stress. I can handle a lot of stress, so when I’m dealing with several things at one time and they all rear their ugly heads at once, I get overwhelmed and I guess depression is the way my brain taps out, or says “uncle”, or gives in, or whatever.
This last episode was caused by stress and I was really trying to be patient and let myself feel what I needed to feel and sleep when I needed to sleep. Throw into the middle my fabulous elopement and honeymoon, which was the best time ever and I went on such a natural high, that when we came back the crash into reality caused the depression to compound.
I have had to work so hard to get back on my game. I’ve done several things which I’ll share along the way in other posts, but one thing was to look for motivation outside of myself. Have you searched “motivation” on YouTube? Wow, there’s a list! I listened or watched motivational videos and found they lifted my spirit. I made a decision to watch a video every morning to give me a boost to get out of bed. It worked and I got out of bed feeling better and more positive.
For a couple of months now I set a goal to listen to something positive everyday. It doesn’t always happen in the morning, usually it’s when I walk the dogs. One of the people I discovered along the way that I’ve grown to really appreciate is Mel Robbins. She’s straight forward and I appreciate her no nonsense way of delivering her message.
A clip from an interview with her is below. This clip struck me profoundly. She states that there is no such thing as motivation. That “motivation is garbage.” And she explains why and how our brain works against motivation.
Hearing this was such a relief! With no motivation, I no longer felt guilty for waiting for it, there is nothing to wait for. I don’t have to wait until I feel like doing something. It’s just me and a decision to do it. And the trick is to do it before your brain gives you reason not to. (She covers that too.)
Here is the clip from that interview (22 mins).
(You can also watch the whole interview which is about an hour long if you search for Mel Robbins Impact Quest. It’s well worth your time to watch.)