I’d gotten it figured out, you know. Finally found that thing, that thing that worked, that thing I’d stuck with. CrossFit. . .. And then a pandemic came along and, well, I usually sabotage myself when I’m feeling successful at getting to a workout routine, but I wasn’t expecting Covid-19. Was anybody? Of course not. We’ve all been affected, every person has been affected. Isn’t that something. . .
Anyway, like all “non-essential” businesses, my CrossFit gym had to close. I admire the effort the owner has put in to keep his business alive for members. Zoom classes, adjusted memberships, challenges, cooking episodes. They’re pulling out all the stops.
I, however, haven’t engaged.
Prior to all this, I actually injured my neck somehow, a muscle pain that had me seeing stars at one point, but has lasted for weeks and weeks. So, in a way that started the decline in my activity, as I was physically unable to move without severe shooting pains up my neck and down my back. It’s improved a lot now, but not entirely gone. So there was that. (At least physio has re-opened.)
Then the gym closed. At first I thought, no problem. I’ll just do what I can do from home – start with yoga. Well, that re-aggravated my neck.
The consistent exercise I still have is walking my dogs. I’m so thankful that if we need to be in isolation, at least it’s not winter! There’s some silver-lining. (I hope we aren’t lining up for groceries in January…) Anyway, I get a two mile walk in everyday.
But, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about CrossFit. Just when I found the magic, and noticeable results, I just can’t get my head into it at home. I ask myself why, really really why? The first thing that comes to mind is I don’t like an audience. At the gym is different, but at home, I’ve got two young boys around, and I can’t wrap my introverted brain around that. It’s actually paralyzing. So, how to break through that barrier? I don’t know yet.
Yesterday, it dawned on me. There’s just something about going to a building, walking in and being in that space. The mindset is there. Also… that’s my “me” time. No kids. No one. Just me. My goals. My work. My body. And that’s the real hold up for me. Home is never about just me, not anymore. I can’t separate. I can’t just disappear – believe me, I’ve tried!
When all the changes started happening, and the kids came home from school full-time and my husband started working from home and we’re all here – All. The. Time. – I really did worry about how I was going to adapt. And I know many of you can relate to what I’m saying right now. My days were quiet. All to myself for about seven hours. I studied, I went to CrossFit, I did my thing. And with almost no notice, everything changed. How could I expect myself to just pick up the reigns and continue?
Expectations. I have high expectations. Not unattainable, but sure, I’m demanding of myself, my husband (sorry, Babe), my kids. Being productive is important to me. A good day is a productive day. And now… a productive day feels distant and constantly interrupted. (Cuz it is – I’ve been interrupted five times already writing this post….)
So, what do I do about it? It’s been what… 11 weeks now? (make that eight interruptions…) I’ve read many pieces of advice to be easy on ourselves right now, which I agree. Be forgiving. Yep. Enjoy the more relaxed state of things… wait, what? Where some people are bored and don’t know what to do with their time, I have the opposite issue, I have more projects and interests than I can keep up with. Having my family home, don’t get me wrong, I love them, but… It’s time to carve out some me time. It’s time to accept my “new normal” and accomplish my goals in spite of it. It’s time to raise my expectation bar and do what I need to do, because working out and exercise is a necessity for my well-being both physically and mentally. Although my two mile walk everyday has likely been my savings grace for the last several weeks, I know it’s not enough. Time to make a change and adapt.
Normal isn’t coming back. I laughed the other day when a journalist wrote about “returning to our new normal”… that’s actually not possible. If it’s new, you can’t return to it. So, we adapt. Our prior life isn’t coming back. I don’t know at this point if that new normal includes CrossFit for me right now. I have to think about what I can do that will be something I can stick to, something new I enjoy, an excuse maybe to go off on my own. Time to get back on that horse. I’ll keep you posted. (Another six interruptions. OMG. I know, so many of you can relate!)
What have you been struggling with most during isolation? Are you ready to adapt to a new normal? What small step can you make that just makes this all a bit better? If you can add in some physical activity it does wonders for stress management.